oh cancer you are too funny! part 3

Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia (ALL)

Acute lymphoblastic leukemia (ALL) is a fast-growing cancer of the white blood cells. Lymphocytes are a type of white blood cell that the body uses to fight infections. In ALL, the bone marrow makes lots of unformed cells called blasts that normally would develop into lymphocytes. However, the blasts are abnormal. They do not develop and cannot fight infections. The number of abnormal cells (or leukemia cells) grows quickly. They crowd out the normal red blood cells, white blood cells and platelets the body needs.

The funny thing about ALL is that instead of attacking my WBC's , this skank goes after my platelets and eats them up like a sumo wrestler loose in an all you can eat buffet.  And eat away she did, all the way down to 30,000 (we are supposed to to between 140 to 400,000 range) and not just that, but she revved up my blast cells from 3%to 86% in a period of a week, yeah it felt like the jezebel had some nose candy, speed, and crack and she came to party like it was 1999!

Anyway, as soon as we got the results from the blood test, not saying anything good I might add. Our next step was a BMB which I must say that I'd rather drink turpentine and piss on a brush fire than subject myself to that uncomfortable procedure.  It's like the doc. was drilling for oil or something and coming out with mud.  Yeah sure, they numb the surrounding area but you still feel the needle on your bones and the tap tap tap of another needle trying to extract the piece of spongy extract.  I would love to post a video of the whole procedure so you can have a better picture but I just don't want half my ass crack showing up in youtube.  it's not a pretty sight just be happy with my lame description of the experience.


After all this, the only thing was to wait for a couple of days for the results to come in and see exactly what was going on with my bone marrow because the test would def. tell you more of what's going on with the blood production and stuff.


So we wait and wait, all nervous and stressed out because we still don't have a clue of what's going on with me.  I practically chomp down my fingers all the way down to the bone because of my nail bitting  (I should have smothered my fingers in hot sauce just to make the experience more enjoyable).  And finally we got the life changing news a couple of days later , news that we were not prepared to receive, my CML added another companion to the mix and her name was ALL (skank) so now our little threesome turned into a foursome Great" I thought " not only is this so unsatisfying , I'm the only one getting screwed out of this!" sorry for my language but you have to understand how angry and pissed off I am at this news, this is def. not something I signed up for.  It was bad dealing with one cancer and now I have to deal with her evil alter ego.


I was shipped to the hospital tight away like a cow gets shipped to the nearest meat processing plant and I started a regimen of chemo that will last for about 8 month of in and out of the hospital. Plus god only knows how long for my recuperation after a bone marrow transplant and all of that is if everything goes according to plan.  My best bet is finding that bone marrow donor as quick as possible because honestly, CHEMO is not fun, trust me, I'm talking from experience.


As of right now I just finished my second round of chemo and still searching for a new bone marrow ( I wonder if it comes with that "new car" smell?) I'm currently on a waiting list and should find something fast because if I don't, I'm going to go into panic mode and might even ask my old anatomy teacher from high school for that old skeleton she used to use for class to see if I'm a match to those old bag of bones!! yes people I am that crazy. HAHAHAHAHAHA!

oh cancer you are too funny! part 2

First approved by the Food and Drug Administration (FDA) in 2001, GLEEVEC^®(imatinib mesylate) is a unique treatment for certain forms of cancer. It works by targeting, and turning off, specific proteins in cancer cells that cause the cancer cells to grow and multiply. GLEEVEC^®  targets one cancer protein that causes Philadelphia chromosome positive chronic myeloid leukemia (Ph+ CML) and another cancer protein, called KIT, that is the suspected cause of gastrointestinal stromal tumor (GIST). However, GLEEVEC^®  can also target other proteins not involved in causing Ph+ CML or KIT-positive GIST.


Oh my sweet Gleevec!


My magic pill.  The one that will make everything right, like how Goldilocks wanted.  I was happy, elated, ecstatic and ready to tackle the BIATCH once and for all and exorcise her ass like that priest did to Linda Blair in THE EXORCIST!  "Away demon, the power of Christ compels you!"  And all that other good stuff.


But, before taking this wonder drug we had to to read about it.  So we started doing our very extensive homework about it and at times it just felt like we were just stuffing out mind with a shitload of information that it felt that our minds were about to explode. We read pro/cons, effectiveness, side effects, blah blah blah....  At the end of all this we decided to roll the dice and take the odds.


So I started my daily pill popping and believe it or not the the fucker worked!  I mean sure, I was still carrying the HAG around but now instead of asking "are we there yet?" every 5 seconds she was completely subdued and wearing a straitjacket and a muzzle.  Sure we couldn't enjoy some of the benefits that comes with carrying a 3rd passenger, like I still could not use the HOV lanes and she did not contribute for gas and we all know how prices at the pump are nowadays but anyway it's a small price to pay considering we were keeping the BIATCH quiet so we didn't complain much.


Another wonderful thing about this drug was the fact that I had minimal side effects.  Some queasiness but other than that, it was great.  Actually I went the other direction - improving my physical endurance overall.  Running 3 half marathons in 4 months and breaking a new personal record each time.  I was even cycling on my weekends off from running with no problems whatsoever.


My bloodwork was stellar making all my marks, week after week.  Then we switched it every two weeks with the same results and after my 6 month BMB (bone marrow biopsy) my numbers were looking great.  Of course there was an extensive amount of other tests but I will not bore you with all the medical jargon that I myself had problems understanding,  Why we don't have one of those "idiots guide" book to understand this crap is beyond me!


Life was good . Scratch that, life was GREAT!  After a real long and stressful 6 months we decided to go on vacation to sunny Cabo San Lucas.  " a week of fun in the sun will do us good and we deserve it dammit" I said to my lovely and adoring girlfriend and she concurred.  Of course we had to carry with the other woman but we didn't mind at this point, That hag was just a mute she, was zipping it quite good.  What we didn't know is that during this silent period and when we weren't looking, the harlot was texting and e-mailing ALL ( acute lymphoblastic leukemia) to come and join us at the 5 star resort in Cabo.  And if I thought CML was the queen of all BIATCHES well let me tell you, this ALL is ONE NASTY SKANK! I mean she makes CML look like mother teresa. 


ALL is one nasty little jezebel, the only way I can compare her to is to charlize theron character in the movie monster. A classless, toothless, hairless barfly that thinks she is the "hot shit" at the local watering hole.


Well CML decided that I would be a great match for her and right at the middle of our vacation she decides to come and crash our place and mind you, this woman was not packing light, and before you know it she starts showering me with all her charms and witty personality.  Her way of cuddling was by giving me night sweats and low grade fevers.  Call me old fashioned but I'd rather have flowers for a first date don't you think?


This time I was prepared because of my past experience. My spidey sense started tingling and as soon as we got back from vacation, I went straight to my doc. for a blood test to make sure everything was ok.


Boy was I WRONG! not only ALL moved in, but the skank took the master bedroom.  "oh my, here we go again!" Round 2 in this fucking cage fight. Ding! Ding!


                              .........to be continued


     
     

oh cancer you are too funny! part 1

     Before I begin, let me hammer the point that cancer is not funny.  Especially for those of us living with the fucker and dealing with it's "little" consequences.  It affects everybody around us in ways I never thought possible.  True I do intend to use a little bit of dark humor and in some cases a little joke or two, but that's not my underlying point.  I do hope that all of you can read beyond that.  The message is clear and it's all about KICKING LEUKY'S ASS!

Hello friends!
     It's about time I tell you how this little "relationship" started between me and that annoying unwanted girlfriend that never went away called CML (chronic myelogenous leukemia) for those not familiar with the term and I'll spare you the other details about this very sour BIATCH!  The exact date that this creature moved in with her matching Chanel and Gucci bags full of white blood cells I cannot pinpoint but I started to feel her " charming personality" as soon as I started coughing, which by the way I thought it was allergies.  The cough in itself lasted about 3 month but little did I know it was my new girlfriend moving in and redecorating the apartment without us even knowing she was around and not even contributing to the rent.
     At the 3 month milestone the old hag decides to give me a enlarged spleen.  Something along the lines of 3 times the size of a normal one, and let me just state that all this time I don't even have a clue that I have this "nice" and "adoring" girlfriend giving me all these amazing gifts and it's like she just decided I was her soulmate and that we were meant for each other! WOW talk about fatal attraction! And she just didn't stop giving, oh no!  The BIATCH just turn on the charm at full force!  Here's a small lists of stuff she found "charming" to give me.
FATIGUE- which I blamed on work.
WEIGHT LOSS- which I blamed on my running and exercising
A DRAGGING FEELING -which I blamed on my laziness and my lack of motivation to train for my 4th ING NYC marathon (yeah sorry to put this out there but I'm very proud of running 3 marathons so I had to gloat a little)
oh and let's not forget my LOSS OF VISION in one eye which quickly prompted me to take steps and find out what was "wrong" with me.
     And boy did I ever find out!  I had a new girlfriend and by the looks of it she was here to stay, for good!  Like that annoying roommate everybody had in college that just kept eating your Doritos and drinking your diet cokes and never ever replacing it, well multiply that by infinity and then you will have a glimpse of what I'm talking about.
     Of course my real girlfriend finding out about this was no walk in the park.  All this time we all have been having a threesome and not even knowing it! actually she is pissed and livid at the whole ordeal, that she even didn't get a memo about this menage a trois! but my girlfriend is a rock and is very open and frankly did we even have a choice??  So we let the old hag move in and let her live with us and of course we are not happy and yet we have to deal with this unwanted guest!
     "Wait there's hope" says my doc! "There's Gleevec"!!
      What I will call my trial separation from this 3rd wheel my clean brake from this BIATCH that has invaded every fiber of our lives.
     EVERYBODY REJOICE!  Gleevec is coming!  Yay, I am CURED!  Stomp leuky! Yay.
     .....Or so we thought!
                                                              to be continued.............

KICKING LEUKY'S ASS!

     I have cancer.
     There I said it.
     Cancer, a little six letter word that as a stand alone causes fear and combine with "I have" it just changes to a whole new beast.  People perception of you having it changes so rapidly that you can see the facial expressions change right before your eyes! hell I once saw a friend of mine develop a nervous tick right after I told him " I have cancer" LMAO! After that statement is made you can predict 99.9% of the responses " oh, I'm sorry to hear that" or something to that effect and then comes the dead silence for a second or two and at that point you know it's a change in the conversation.      
     Well my friends I'm here to tell you I HAVE CANCER!
     I'm not dead yet! :-)
     and this fucker is not going to get me! so you will have me for a while longer even if i have to inject myself with clorox to finish off killing all the leukemic cells out of my body ! hahahahahahaha
     I know this journey is not going to be an easy one, shit at some points it's just going to be an uphill wet horse dung mountain! but what i can tell you for sure is that i will fight with every good cell of my body and i will win! 
     And with that said, I will bring to close my first blogging experience and  I'm sure it will not be my last.  I have a shitload of stories to tell about my experience with this nasty bugger.  Let's not EVER loose our focus to those of us fighting this crap.............
      ................It's all about kicking LEUKY'S ASS.
Have a great one everybody